Sorry for posting again but I'm bored and stuck in the 3 hour car ride to my grandma's..

I can't wait to be back in school ((even if that means stress and no sleep)) at least then I won't be stuck eating all the time, I can fast most odf the day and be stressed enough to not want to eat.

Wow I really shouldn't be writing and reading in the moving car. Getting a bit car sick.. Ugh.

First things first MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of u who celebrate it. If not happy holidays (:


Well I think I've been doing pretty okay on the eating today and yesterday. At christmas eve dinner I had half a spponful of rice and a bite of turkey. Good. So for christmas presents I got my elliptical((early present)) and a sony reader ((love to read)) and a sound system for my new room and a purse and jewerly. Great.

The only true bad thing about this Christmas is that I'm staying with my moms fried and her daughter ((we've known eachother since we were born)) she's one of my best friend even though I don't see her a lot anymore. She's also like my little sister, she's like 1-2 years younger than me. She found out that I haven't been eating and now everytime we have to eat together and I say no to food she says no too. And its not her because she eats a shitload always has. So she's not eating to be like me. The only way I can get her to eat is to eat aswell. Fuck. I don't want to eat. That plus my mom forcing food on me I've gained most weight back. I'm doing 1000 situps a day til new years and staying under 800 cal. If I have to throw up to get what I want then ill do it.
In 2010 I will have willpower and strength and I will get to 95 and bellow.

What's your new years weight resolution?

Food: 1/2 (gah, I was almost fasting today and I thought I ate under 100g of those sausages, but it turns out that... er, I really don't have a good approximation of 100g so it's about 350 calories for today)
Water: 2/2
Excercise: 2/2
Challenge: 2/2 (am going out with a friend I haven't seen in ages)
Posting: 2/2

9/10

It's a nine out of ten day... but I still feel guilty and bloated over my binging in the past couple of days :(

23/??/168

 I usually only use LJ for music and movies, but I've visited this community a few times. I really really really need to slim down, I'm so fucking huge. I hate myself. I want to try to cut out all bad foods, but the problem is is that I have absolutely ZERO self control. I know my life would be so much better if I wasn't a whale. I would love it if you guys could give me some tips about self control, or anything really. 

 Yuckkk. I had to eat breakfast so I chugged water the whole time. 
I have two hours until I have to go eat christmas dinner at my grandma's. So I'm gonna chug water and organize my room until then...Maybe I can work out...It's so hard to do things when my sister is home. 
On the plus side, I got candles for my room. Now my room smells sickly sweet so I'm not hungry. 

Hmmm. My mother got me gum in my stocking. 
I think I'm gonna go flush my christmas chocolate. 
That way I don't even have to think about eating it. 
Hope everyone is doing alright. 
x

Merry Christmas everyone. =)

It's only about 11AM where I am, but I'm THRILLED because I got an Amazon gift card.

I reeeeaaaallly want those Reebok EasyTone shoes.

It's not enough with shipping, but I'm returning something so I'll have some store credit! Yay!


I'm kind of on the religious side, so those with me-

"Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord."
-Luke 2:11

Hey All!

I have been watching this community for a little while now,
so i have decided to join :)
I have no one to talk to about any of these issues,
so i amped to finally be able to chat to people
that actually know what i am going though.

Merry Christmas too! well its boxing day actually but none the less :)
BIG LOVE!

In 2007 i promised I'd be at my goal weight by 08. In 2008 i promised I'd be at my goal weight by 09. Now in 2009 i promised I'd be at my goal weight by 2010. Sounds like a failure to me.

BTW I took a laxative last night totally forgetting I'll be on a road trip all morning until this evening. NICE!

 I'm eating... and I'm not hungry. It makes me feel shit.... explain why the fuck i'm doing it then?! ARHHHE!
Tomorow I'm starting a strong restriction "diet" till the 31st. Then 1st of 2010 then I'm starting my SERIOUS new diet start to become thin.

I just surfed around int the internet and I noticed that the celebrities with a BMI that I am aiming for are not thin. But I WANT TO BE THIN.
DO I have to be Underweight to be thin? I mean the models have a BMI of 16/17. Is it all proportional? Like some people loos rele thin with a
BMI 19 and others don't? I dunno. But I'm freaked out. Cause I was hoping to stay above a Underweight BMI : 18.5..... I was hoping to say at like 19. But I'm starting to think that I will still be fat then?! What do u think?
Luv Lola

 i failed myself and everyone i dont deserve to be alive Christmas was a miserable day i binged i had

4 bananas
5 cheese toasts
a lots of canderel
a lots of Kellogs all bran
again cheese
4 prunes


must be 1800 calories and its 6 o clock i feel so fat right now FAT

I hope everyone is having a great holiday season!
Holiday wishes to you and your family!

i know a lot of people here take them to feel empty after a binge, but i want to warn you guys of taking them too much!
my grandma used to take laxatives a lot because, like us, she wanted to be thin and ate too much one day, so she took them. 
her laxative-popping became more frequent and she started to take them a few times a week.

well now, shes 75 and can't poop without them!! (this next part is gross so skip it if you dont want to to read it!) 
so to poop, she sticks some maneuver up her bung-hole and is basically always constipated! 
laxatives mess up your colon and your body gets used to having help to poop, when pooping is one of the most natural processes! 

so: i dont think laxatives are bad; they can be good once in a while to "flush" your body of toxins, etc.
but i just wanted to caution everyone about them because they can reaaally mess up your colon in the long-run! 

thats all. :) 

P.S. 
i hope this didnt offend anyone!
i dont want this to be mis-taken as me telling people what to/what not to do!
its just some advice from the experience of others. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! <3 

So last night I actually ate dinner,AND CHEESE CAKE !
Tuesday night I took laxatives and gave me the worst feeling in the world. I had stomach pains,cramps,i felt like my insides we're  bursting.
I also realized that i took it with only 2 cookies in my stomach.

Last night I decided to give it another go with food in me,
I had to eat because my family was watching me and I had no way of getting out of it ; but if you have to eat,why not get it right out huh?
They defiantly worked even though I got diarrhea.

I have a question for all of you:
If you eat but use laxatives after do you still gain all that weight?

merry christmas, or happy holidays all!!


this morning i was watching the show doctors,

and heads up

CINNAMON NATURALLY SUPRESSES HUNGER!!

love you all
and try not to worry too much today ;)

Food: 0/2

Utter fail! I was so surprised when I logged on to fitday.com and the calories just.. added up ridiculously fast.

Water: 0/2

I reached the 8 glasses, but I had some Nestea in between... and I promised I wouldn't drink any juice at all, so that's 0 for today..

Exercise: 2/2
Challenge: 2/2
Post: 2/2

Total: 6

1/6/-

Binging for a week us the stupidest thing I've ever done.
149 lbs. Disgusting.
Fasting today even though it's Christmas. My parents will understand.

Gw1:145
gw2: 140
gw3: 135

bad thing is that were in vacation for another week : /
whatever.
Hopefully I'll reach 145 tomorrow cause I binges yesterday n I have a lot of water weight from pop.
Then hopefully I can be 138(??) by the time we get back home.
I have lots of hard work this week!!!
That's what I get for binging though...
Hope you all have a good day : )
xx

 Its been pure binging for the last 5 days, including today. But from tomorow on, I'm stating a new "diet". I have to start emptying my stomach for my NEW YEARS resolution : loose 18lbs in 2010. 
I have to admit tho... I know this sounds wierd, but whatt then.... what happens when I've reached my Goal Weight? I will miss counting cals and looking at thinspo, writing on this community. Its more than just weightloss.... I want to be thin but  I also love the lifestyle. I'm not ready to give that up, even after I've reached my goal weight, you know?!  
Luv Lola

 I'm a lot tipsy on wine with Christmas dinner.
I'll comment on your gals' posts when I wake up tomorrow.
I had a wonderful Christmas.
The vegetable and olive tray before dinner saved my life.
I did my "binging" on that, and it resulted on me eating very little for dinner.
I feel great.
I even had some of the brown sugar crust on top of the apple pie. It was so yummy.

I'm surprised that my Dad let me drink wine, but I'm glad he did.
Shows me that he considers me an adult.
And I didn't get stupid, he didn't even know that I was tipsy until I told him I had one too many glasses.
I showed him I can be responsible
And I'm glad for that.

I'm happy that I didn't worry about eating today.
Probably because the majority of my eating was done on olives and veggies!
It was a great Christmas, and I hope you girls have a great one too!
Goodnight!

 Everybody's  eating TURKEY now...except me.I said  " i mot hungry,i just woke up i will eat later don't worry!"  LIKE noooo way 
i had a coke zero,a black coffee and a green tea and a chewing gum ,,,,,,,i will lose control i feel it

www.bodybuildingpro.com/bodytypeinformation.html

i'm definitely a mesomorph 

Merry Christmas everyone :)